[Bananafish] A Bloody Note

[Yocum, Daniel R Civ 21 CES/CEOE]

Here is a post from a boat building forum that I am a member of, I
thought it was well written and enjoyable.  Just swap out the minor
injuries with a major decapitation with an out of control power tool and
it could be something about Mike.

 

Daniel

 

 

I was born right handed and will die right handed, so long as it is
still attached, I guess. My left hand usually swings around like a lump
on a string. It is useful for holding things and I have forced it to
learn how to type a bit, but mostly it just flops around out there -
barely controlled and rarely used.

 

Then, this weekend, I learned the true purpose of my left hand: Tool
Stop. I have taken a break from finishing out my PDR (which was a break
from building a Goat Island Skiff) to make a canoe so I can transport my
lovely wife on our local river. I have been using Gorilla Glue
exclusively for this project, and as you may recall, I use drywall
screws with 3/4" fender washers to screw the pieces together - once the
glue cures, I remove the screws and fill the holes (with toothpicks
dipped in glue.)

 

I first noticed the purpose of my left hand while using my drill to
drive in a screw. I was pushing hard when the screw tipped and the bit
slipped and I drove the Philips bit into the pad of my left index finger
tip - no damage to the boat, Yah! You never notice how many things you
touch with your left index finger until you have a huge, gaping wound in
it.

 

I next noticed the purpose of my left hand as I used my newly sharpened
chisel to scrape off the glue that had squeezed during the drying
process. I was pressing hard and the blade slipped - but by chance my
left hand was there to catch the blade before it did any damage to the
boat. Funny, but the cut on my palm goes right through my lifeline.

 

My final instance was the most gruesome. I have recently purchased my
first pull saw and was lopping off the excess of the stem log. The saw
was binging, so I gave a mighty yank - the stem log severed and the
blade continued until it came to rest across the outside of the ball
joint of my left thumb. Most of the nerves of my hand had burned out by
then, so I didn't really pay any attention until I reached up for
something and flung blood all over my toolbox.

 

The blade had pulled up a flap of skin about the diameter of a pencil
eraser -the flap still attached by a wee bit of skin. Almost everything
in my shop is filthy, so while my right hand fumbled with the first aid
kit, I decided to chew off the flap with my teeth. A lifetime of poor
dental care and nightly teeth grinding has left my front teeth flat -
more like molars than incisors. I had to wiggle my jaw side to side and
more or less grind off the flap. As I spit out the offending skin, I
looked up to see the sweet little neighbor girl starign at me in horror.


I smiled my blood filled smile and waved my gory hand in greeting, and
she ran away in terror.

 

Anyway, I discovered what my left hand is for.

Andrew

 

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